Most days she wakes up at 5:00 am, gets ready with her two younger boys, drops them at school and gets to work. Her husband — they’ve been enjoying each other’s company for 10 years now — picks up the boys from grandma’s when he gets off work. Then they all reunite in the evenings at home, where the boys get mom’s help with homework and everything gets organized for the next day. Before going to bed, she takes some time for herself either reading or watching TV. On the weekends, household chores are done, and they offset the routine spending some quality family time doing a fun activity.
Two years ago, on a cold rainy Friday morning, as she was dropping off the boys in school, she saw a wet dog running around the school parking lot all alone. She took him in to check if he was chipped, he wasn’t. So, she brought him home just for the weekend to see if his owners showed up, they didn’t. That was October 18, 2018. Boy came to complete her family portrait.
This fun, loving, proud mom of five and happy wife, also takes care of her elderly mom and reminds her on every opportunity that she’ll always love and take care of her no matter what. She tells her that she is the best mom she could have had growing up and thanks her for supporting her throughout the grimmest circumstances.
María remembers her upbringing in San Juan, Puerto Rico, where she lived with her mom and her older siblings — a sister and brother. Her days went by knocking on apartment doors gathering her neighbors to head to the pool and playground. Fortunately, those childhood bonds have survived decades — they keep in touch to date.
“I loved where I lived, it was a high-rise building with a very close-knit community sense as it was back in the 80’s.”
She saw her dad almost every weekend and could then spend time with her other sister. She also remembers fondly her maternal grandparents since they would usually take care of her after school.
“My grandparents would’ve given me the moon and the stars if I asked for them.”
At 15, she was given the opportunity to work in her brother-in-law’s business as a receptionist and cashier. What started as a summer job, ended up turning her into the person of choice to cover vacations or assist when needed.
“To this day I say that he taught me work ethic and has been the best boss I’ve ever had. He decided to trust a 15-year-old girl and teach her how to be a professional.»
She started living on her own when she was 16, met the father of her two older sons at 17 and married him at 18. While living in the United States, their relationship took a turn for the worse. Her household went from young love to unbearable, toxic, and too painful — to the point she had no option but to escape to survive.
María never lacked determination, she kept going and at 25 she was giving it all at the US Army bootcamp. However, a military career was cut short due to stress fractures in her legs.
“I live with a sink or swim attitude, so I just keep going trusting that all eventually passes and resolves.”
From restaurants to working with the crew of a world-known Latin urban artist, she maintained her drive to keep afloat and make a living for herself and her family. She found herself again in a romantic relationship and pregnant with her only daughter.
Her partner was conflicted with himself and, caught in the middle of his dilemma, María had to face another storm. This time, it was more than any woman should have to bear. His parents moved heaven and earth to gain custody of her daughter; they fought her legally until breaking her heart. It is not easy at all to go against money, social status and influences on an Island constantly tangled up in corruption and institutional deficiencies.
After all, for someone like María, being a mother is a transcendental duty that compels her to put her child’s well-being first. Knowing her daughter is fine is what she needs, as the hand of cards dealt for her was cruel and binding.
“Yes, I regret being so trusting of someone who was not thinking of me then, and who used my trust to hurt me deeply. All I do is wish him the best and pray that someday he’ll realize how what he did didn’t just hurt me but also hurt someone he loves very much.”
Having experienced such traumatic events in her personal affairs, for years she fought hard to internalize and externalize all her feelings. She needed an outlet and a relief — a change of perspective. She had good reasons to distrust people and fear connections, until she hit a break with something extremely rewarding.
“I found myself without a job and began working as an over-the-phone interpreter 14 years ago, at that moment I might have found a job but what I really found was that dream I had been chasing without knowing what it was.”
Today she is a well-rounded professional interpreter. While this was not a career she aimed for, she fell in love with the dynamic and became a conference interpreter. As a mother of young children, moving ahead in the world of conference interpreting was outweighed by the frequent travel requirements. Although she was willing to travel, she rather not be on the road so constantly.
Currently, she holds a state license for legal interpreting and works as a medical interpreter at a local hospital too. There, she enables the communication between patients, physicians and nurses on a daily basis, and — for a while now — in midst of a pandemic.
“It’s a challenging job, since I have to make sure that both parties understand each other without, adding, omitting, or changing anything that is being said.”
Being in that interstitial space where you can intervene in a broken process and mend it by helping people navigate to overcome linguistic barriers was truly an answer to her unasked questions. She finally connected with those rhetorical thoughts found within. Once everything clicked, something unlocked, she had found the open road and was inspired to set out to new destinations. Talk about answering to your calling!
“I love what I do, and I believe it shows every time I go out there and do it.”
Now, she is contemplating the Federal Court Interpreter test and getting ready to pass it. She is ready to put all the nay ‘sayers’ to rest. Being fascinated and rewarded by what you do day in and day out is the biggest driver.
Against all odds, she has overcome many obstacles and freed herself from the doubts casted by others who didn’t understand or simply didn’t give her the space to steer through the river rapids she was thrown into. At her own pace and speed, she found solace. Her life is an example that empathy can go a long way and that judgements of character often fail to be productive. We must challenge the ideas we make up in our minds about the people we meet and relate to, as we are only getting a glimpse. Often, we act entitled out of fear and our own shortcomings.
“I like to relate with all types of people, I’m very eclectic in my tastes and believe I can always learn from others even if we have different opinions. But there’s two types of people that I won’t count in my circle — liars and those that show no empathy to others.”
María is one of those magnetic people that draws you in with her “je ne sais quoi.” Her superpower is her social nature and that presence that commands attention. It is not a power play and there is nothing artificial in her allure, she doesn’t hide her complexity. She has the gift of words and a brilliant mind. The fragility of our condition surfaced way too many times for her not to be humble. She had to cope with each of the curve balls that life threw at her, plus face being victimized as well beyond repair to some people’s eyes.
What is clear to her nowadays is that family is the thread of life, but family is not just blood relatives.
“There’s some people that have either been in my life briefly or have been in it for extended periods of time that are more than friends; they are my family, my tribe. Without those close relationships I think I wouldn’t have survived many moments in my life.”
Even when she found the “one” later in life, today him and her family are the ones who motivate her to never give up.
“After 10 years, he’s my rock, he balances all my craziness and brings me peace. He has shown through time that he’ll always be on my corner no matter what.”
Her children have seen her striving to be the best human being there is — something she hopes they will also emulate. Video calls are getting old as she longs for being part of the daily life of all her kids and her one granddaughter too. Family to her is everything. And as overwhelming as life can be, we can always react and keep trying to be better with and for each other.
“I’m proudest of how far I’ve come despite many obstacles and many people doubting I could make it. There was a point in my life where I thought there was nothing more for me to go continue for, but I was blessed that God put some people in my path that helped me through those very dark times and now I’ve learned that there is a purpose to everything that happens to us and we can’t give up when the going gets tough.”
Telling her story never gets easier, the past has consequences that can’t be ignored. The now is where she is, making each day count until she can reunite with all her offspring and enjoy them fully. And while the future makes way to her reality, she swims filling the gaps for others — pulling them out of the dark with her words.
Recuenta 